


Broken

by Anjelica_Grey



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Infertility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 11:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anjelica_Grey/pseuds/Anjelica_Grey
Summary: Alistair tries to comfort his queen, though he knows well that for both of them, sometimes there is no comfort to be found.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> For Alistair Appreciation Week 2018, Day 3: Angst & Fluff, and Day 4: Family and Friends.
> 
> Note: This story contains discussion of infertility; if this is a difficult subject for you, you may wish to read something else. *hugs*

She turned her head away, so he wouldn’t see, but he knew she was crying. She hated crying nearly as much as he hated to see her cry. Alistair sighed, wrapping his arms around his wife’s shoulders from behind. “Hey, shh, ‘Liss, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

She turned, ducking her head under his chin. “I’m sorry, this is stupid. I shouldn’t have left the banquet. The last thing I need is another reason for people to gossip. But I just…” Her breath hitched in her throat, and he could feel the tension in her as she tried not to sob.

He didn’t need to ask what had upset his queen. Bann Alfstanna was a good woman, and a firm supporter of theirs from the beginning, but she had also just arrived to present her new baby daughters to the court. The twins were just a few months old; Alfstanna and her husband were the perfect image of proud parenthood as the ladies of the court gathered around them, cooing at the little ones.

“I’m happy for Alfstanna, I really am…and I feel like such a…a bitter, horrible old monster, when all I can do in the face of somebody else’s happiness is to feel angry and jealous and…and broken.” Elissa tipped a face full of anguish up to him, her tears shining in the flickering candlelight of the council room where she’d gone to hide from the constant observation in the great hall.

“My rose, my heart…you are not broken, not in any sense of the word. You’re the finest person I’ve ever known. And if it would help, I’d be more than willing to grab up all of the extra nappies and whatever else Alfstanna has in that massive knapsack and throw the whole thing in the moat. What good is being the king if I can’t occasionally do something scandalous and a little mad?” She smiled half-heartedly at his attempted humor, but the tears still leaked stubbornly from her eyes, and his heart ached for her…for them both.

With a sigh, he sat her down on the council table, and pulled up a chair before her, taking her hands in his. “Listen to me, ‘Liss…I know this is hard, and it hurts, and it isn’t fair. Believe me, I do know. I daydream about holding a little bundle with your bright eyes…of teaching our son, or daughter for that matter, to hold a sword or ride a horse, or getting their first Mabari. It hurts; every day it hurts. But it isn’t your fault, or my fault. It just is. And we’ll get through it, I promise.”

She raised a hand to cup his cheek, smiling fondly at him through her pain. “You’re right, of course. And we’re really very lucky compared to so many people. I just…sometimes I just…can’t do it, you know?”

He stood, holding her tight against his chest, feeling the front of his tunic growing damp as his own tears pooled in her hair. “I know, love. I know.”


End file.
